Words: Jessica Sheridan
How many more times this year will I have to hear the same old excuse of locker room talk? For anyone who still does not understand what third-wave feminists are trying to do when we shut down sexist jokes for encouraging misogyny and rape culture, we now have another very clear example of exactly what we are talking about.
On the 4th of November an event was created on Facebook entitled ‘Yeah The Boys Meet Up’ by a page with the same name. The event seemed to have been originally intended as a meet up for fans of the popular Facebook page Yeah the Boys which has over 470,000 likes. The page posts ironic memes and status updates jesting at lad culture, and with such a following it is not unusual that the fans would band together to organise a meet up at Sydney’s own Coogee Beach.
However what probably started as a well-intended social meet-up very quickly turned toxic.
Attendees, the majority of which were young and male, began posting sexist jokes that became more and more heinous as time went by. What started as ‘just a bit of fun’ deteriorated into threatening and hateful language within a matter of days. Many posts called for physical violence against any ‘two holes’ that turned up to the gathering, while others asked if boys could bring along their ‘two hole’ to share with other boys in attendance.
In case you were wondering, ‘two hole’ was their word for women.
The page drew a lot of attention fast, and for all the wrong reasons. Many people – men and women alike – posted in the page asking that the event be taken down, or imploring the attendees to stop disrespecting women. This was largely met by jokes about feminists being ‘triggered’ and vulgar, sexually explicit replies whenever women tried to explain why the event was offensive. Men, and sadly some women, banded together to defend the posts on the page with aggressive and violent threats upon those that criticised the blatant misogyny within. The event, which racked up almost 10,000 attendees, had spiralled out of control, and even the Yeah the Boys Facebook page posted to disassociate themselves from the meet up. The event was eventually cancelled four days after it was originally posted.
You might be wondering – what the hell happened? A lot of people were left confused by the event, for all kinds of reasons. Some people didn’t understand how something which had started as joking and banter had derailed into such a sexist and hateful mess. Some didn’t think it was fair that women were angry about the event, because it was just an all-boys meet up after all – so what if girls weren’t invited? Others claimed anyone complaining about the posts on the event page just couldn’t take a joke.
But there is a very real reason why I am not laughing. There is a very real reason why it’s not funny even though I understand the joke completely.
This is rape culture.
I don’t care about the event name. Frankly, the phrase ‘Yeah the Boys Meet Up’ means nothing to me. Women are not angry that the event appeared to be for boys only; that is not the issue.
The issue is that the type of jokes and sexist banter used on the page inevitably turned into hateful, violent sexism. I say inevitable because this is a pattern we have seen time and time again. We saw it only days ago when a Melbourne law student was added to a Facebook group chat with four of her peers who were sexually and explicitly describing what they wanted to do to her. We saw it when Donald Trump tried to defend against his descriptions of sexual assault with the archaic notion of locker room talk. Time and time again we see examples of people who do not seem to understand that their jokes have gone over the line into violent sexism and misogyny.
The issue is that jokes too easily turn into threats. Banter too easily turns into sexually aggressive descriptions of what men would like to do to women. Locker room talk too easily turns into the reduction of women to their ability to sexually please men (‘two holes’) and nothing more. This is an exact example of how rape culture is perpetuated in our society. This is why third wave feminism is all about shutting down the sexist joking and the misogynistic banter. Because too easily and too often it leads to a lack of respect for women, which in turn can lead to violence against women.
It is literally that simple, and yet that terrifying.
Until women and men are equal – truly equal – in society, then sexist jokes, banter and locker-room talk will inevitably lead to a culture in which women are seen as lesser beings and objects for sexual pleasure, nothing more. This is rape culture, and this is why third wave feminism is so important.
Tech and Law 
It is the reinforcement psychology that is so terrible. By creating a culture that veers to one side of the norm it allows the more extreme to express opinions that they would not otherwise do. A new norm is established. The extreme become emboldened to believe that their unpleasant views are alright.
It is exactly what has happened with Brexit. The veering towards a more xenophobic/racist approach has brought the most unpleasant racists out of the woodwork. They now believe their view has been vindicated.
In order to create equality we have to have a positive ethos or race, gender, disability ……..
As a male I am equally disturbed by the attitudes of these Neanderthals. It isn’t locker-room language. It is rabid sexism and misogyny. It needs opposing.
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I commented on a post where the guy, kinda, sorta tried to do the right thing. He posted “”‘cmon guys, hit the bong, not the missus” He said that he had taken down the page because though he was all for free speech, some of the posts crossed the line into violence. I posted pretty much what you wrote about the danger of that language leading to real violence, that it was not funny and certainly not ok. And that to reduce a woman to a mere “two holes” was to strip them of any self worth.To my dismay the first reply I got was from a young woman who told me not to be so “uppity”, that SHE was a “two hole” had been through domestic violence but this was just a joke and she didn’t feel demeaned in any way!! How the hell do we tackle rape culture when it is so insidious that even the victims of it don’t see it
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Disgusting and horrible actions and thinking are encouraged by overlooking this type of behavior and excusing it as locker room talk. Every man should act toward and speak about women as if they were his sister or mother or wife.
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I agree. And, how to get through to the people writing like this? For some, if they are rebuked, especially by a woman, they increase the offence. Perhaps they are showing you can’t tell them what to do. Women roll with this- the punk band “The Slits” were responding to such abuse. I want men to be dealing with this mess. And, often, men enjoying such posting and competing to be most offensive on line are abashed when confronted in person.
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