Month: April 2017

Is Body Neutrality the New Body Positivity?

Posted on by Noelle Martin

The body positivity movement encourages women, of all different sizes, shapes and colours to love their bodies. The movement inspires women to practice self-love – undeterred by body shaming and all the harmful, unattainable and unrealistic expectations and standards of beauty placed upon women in this looks-obsessed world that we live in. It also teaches women that they are more than just their bodies.

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Picture: Love Your Body Campaign http://www.nowfoundation.org

The body positivity movement says #effyourbeautystandards because #allwomenarebeautiful. It says – I’m choosing to love and embrace my figure, jiggly bits, weight, stretch marks, cellulite, blemishes, body hair and natural hair DESPITE what society tells me is/is not beautiful.

As someone who ABSOLUTELY adores the body positivity movement, lives by it and actively encourages friends to practice it – I’ve never really stopped to think about how much effort and time it takes to practice self-love under the model of body positivity.

To ask someone to love their perceived ‘flaws’ instantaneously can be very difficult. Not all women can just magically become body positive, especially when women are conditioned to hate themselves; when women are told that they need to look a certain in order to be happy, that they must have perfect hair, skin, eyebrows, lips, lashes, jaw structures, boobs, butts, legs, thighs and VAGINAS (YES – labiaplasty is not uncommon). Literally every damn aspect of our bodies ‘could be improved’ according to society’s standards. And on top of that women are constantly pitted against each other in this ‘who wore it better culture’ instead of ‘they both slayed culture’. IT’S EXHAUSTING.

Ashley Graham
Picture: Ashley Graham – Facebook

So, not only is it already difficult enough for women to love themselves. But – sadly – even when women do practice body positivity they can be criticised and shamed by other women. Ashley Graham built the #BeautyBeyondSize hashtag, and has championed the body positivity movement. In a Lenny Letter, she explains that while she is a curvy woman, she is criticised and shamed for going to the gym and accused of selling out when she looks skinnier. Graham says that she isn’t just representing ‘plus size’ women, she’s there for “all women who don’t feel comfortable in their skin, who need a reminder that their unique bodies are beautiful.”

The thing is, can we as a society really view our unique bodies as ‘beautiful’? Our ‘imperfections’ as beautiful? And by extension – can we learn to view our own ‘imperfections’ as beautiful? I sure hope and believe so, but I ask this because when actress and comedian, Amy Schumer posed for the Pirelli Calendar in 2016, she was called ‘brave’ rather than ‘beautiful’ for showing her body as it is. And I think that this ‘brave’ over ‘beauty’ response by people is extremely telling. It suggests that maybe we as a society have been so conditioned by what society deems is beautiful, that society is unable or unwilling to see the beauty in our ‘imperfections’, even with the body positive movement gaining significant traction. (But hey, isn’t that why we have the body positive movement – because FUCK what society thinks is beautiful).

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Picture: Amy Schumer, Pirelli Calendar by Annie Leibovitz

Reflects momentarily

I wonder though, does the body positivity movement place too much of a focus on our physical appearance? The body positive movement may teach women that they are more than just their bodies, but does it really do that?

Lately, this idea of ‘body neutrality’ has emerged and could change the way we view our bodies. According to Christine Morgan, CEO of The Butterfly Foundation, a foundation that supports people with body image issues and eating disorders, explains that body neutrality is “changing the conversation and taking the focus off judging your body. It’s looking at your body as being an instrument that propels you through life, not one that equates you as being good or bad or successful as a person.” According to Melissa A. Fabello, body acceptance activist and Co-Managing Editor of Everyday Feminism, “body neutrality is freedom from the obsession with our bodies entirely.

According to Autumn Whitefield-Madrano, author of Face Value: The Hidden Ways Beauty Shapes Women’s Lives, “body love, beside the fact that it’s a high standard, is it’s asking women to regulate their emotions, not just their bodies”. I guess, it’s no wonder that some women who try to practice body positivity still find themselves struggling to love themselves and experience fluctuations in how they feel about their body. According to Cassie Mendoza-Jones, author of You Are Enough, body neutrality is “a feeling of acceptance of where you are in your body journey today, a way to feel comfortable in your skin without feeling as though you’re investing all your waking time and energy into eating well, exercising and thinking about your body.”

I’ll be honest, I hadn’t heard about body neutrality until recently and it immediately reminded me of writer and artist, Rupi Kaur‘s stunning quote:Rupi Kaur Quote

 

I really do wonder whether the body positivity movement places too much of a focus on our physical appearance. But, I think that’s the wrong question. I believe women are just trying to find happiness in their own skin and rid themselves of the hate and shame they have been conditioned to feel in this highly superficial world. Whatever means by which a woman needs to do that, is something I will support.

Arguably, body neutrality and body positivity can still co-exist. Some women may reach a point in life where they just accept who they are and are almost indifferent to the harsh beauty expectations placed upon women. Some women may feel that embracing their bodies and at the same time knowing that their bodies do not define their worth, is what gives them happiness. It’s a matter of whatever works for you. Whatever makes you feel beautiful because all women deserve to feel beautiful.

Featured Image: Instagram (Curvy Craves)

Mental Health Police: Thirteen Reasons Why You Should Stop

Posted on by jmsheridan

CW: The following article deals with themes portrayed in Thirteen Reasons Why including mental health, suicide and sexual assault. Please read on at your discretion.

Have you seen it yet? What tape are you up to? Have you seen Clay’s tape yet? HAVE YOU SEEN CLAY’S TAPE YET?!

Whether you’ve actually seen it or not I’m sure that by now everyone is at least familiar with Netflix’s latest hit Thirteen Reasons Why. It follows the story of Clay as he comes to terms with the death of his close friend Hannah, who has left behind a series of tapes explaining why she chose to kill herself. Some have loved it, some have hated it, and some have made memes about it. No matter what your feelings are on the show, we can all agree that it deals with some pretty intense issues often shied away from by big production companies, which is great to see.

However I have noticed a fair amount of articles and blog posts surfacing about the themes in the show that made me wrinkle my nose. There have been several experts that have come forward to criticise the show for a very graphic (too graphic?) suicide scene, which is a very valid criticism and one for a separate discussion. But I do have growing concerns about the online chatter that criticises the depiction of mental illness and trauma throughout the show. I know people who have spoken out about how they relate to the show, only to be quickly shot down by others who say that the show’s depiction of mental illness does not reflect reality.

Picture: Netflix ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’

And that’s not right.

I feel like an ugly trend has been developing where we police each other’s health. We saw it back in 2015 when the #effyourbeautystandards movement was taking off. So many people trying to reclaim their self-worth were shut down by those who made assumptions about the health of plus-size people. They were policing the health of their bodies, insisting people were putting their lives at risk just by trying to love themselves. Even recently Tess Holiday, the creator of the #effyourbeautystandards movement, was fat-shamed by her Uber driver who was policing her for what he perceived as bad health.

But now it seems that we are also policing people for their mental health. Thirteen Reasons Why and the subsequent discussion have brought this to a head, with people attacking each other online over the accuracy of the portrayal of Hannah’s mental health. Besides severe disappointment (really guys? This is the hill you wanna die on?) I was also shocked. People were trying to delegitimise the experiences of others based on a television show.

Hasn’t the negative stigma surrounding mental health done that enough? Do we really need to be contributing to the mystification of mental health by suggesting that only one version of trauma exists? Who are we to dictate how a rape victim should feel and behave after the fact? Do we really want to tell each other the correct way to experience depression and PTSD?

Because the answer should be no, guys.

Of course the show does not mention Hannah’s mental health specifically; we cannot know for certain if Hannah suffered from anxiety, depression or PTSD resulting from the constant and extreme bullying, sexual harassment and sexual assault. The show has been criticised for not tackling these issues head on, but I actually thought this was a purposeful statement. We don’t have to label someone’s health in order to recognise the different signs and symptoms; a person does not need to walk around with a sign that says ‘depression’ in order to have depression.

There are serious problems with diagnosis in mental health. A lot of people remain undiagnosed for their serious and very treatable illnesses for all kinds of reasons. Some people are ashamed, some people deny that there is anything wrong, and some people just don’t realise that what they are feeling isn’t healthy. I felt that by not labelling Hannah with a specific mental illness, the show was emulating reality: people often do not reach out for a diagnosis for many of the reasons discussed in the show.

Picture: Netflix ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’

Instead of handing her a sign that says ‘depression’ or ‘PTSD’, Hannah is living out these conditions. We can connect the bullying and sexual harassment to her deepening depression. We can connect her stillness and fear following her rape to trauma and PTSD. We can hear her descriptions of feeling empty and recognise that Hannah has some mental health issues that she needs help working through.

Is the show suggesting that their depiction is an entirely accurate depiction of mental health? No. Is the show suggesting that their depiction is the only way of experiencing mental illness? No. At the same time it is not showing every aspect of mental illness. It’s a television show, and while it has a certain duty to treat the subject material with care and respect, it does not claim to be an authority on the issue.

Because it isn’t.

People can experience mental illness in the same way that Hannah does. I myself really related to Hannah, and saw my own experiences, thoughts and behaviours from my years with depression emulated in the character of Hannah. At the same time people can experience mental illness differently to Hannah. Some people get angry. Some people get sad. Some people self-harm and some don’t. The point is that everyone is different and we are all just trying to work through our mental health issues.

I am not a doctor, I am not an expert. But I feel that common sense tells us that people can experience illness and suffering in different ways. Just because someone experiences their depression differently to you does not make either of your experiences any less valid. It just means you are different.

So just be kind to each other. Help each other. And if you need a reason why you shouldn’t shut down someone who is trying to confide their feelings in you, just because your experience was different – I can think of thirteen.

If you or someone you know may be suffering from mental illness, contact SANE, the National Mental Health Charity Helpline on 1800 187 263 or Lifeline, a 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention service on 13 11 14.

Feature Image Source: Netflix ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’

The Price Women Pay for Embracing their Sexuality

Posted on by Noelle Martin

I was just 10 years old when I hit puberty and I physically matured into a young woman very quickly.  I had C cups by the time I was 12 which made me the target of a lot of unwanted attention from a very early age. However, my body still hadn’t finished growing and soon I became known as the ‘girl with the big boobs’, whether I liked it or not.

Picture: Paige ‘Rampaige’ Halsey Warren

As a young girl with a body of a grown woman, things got really awkward. During my school years I would be so embarrassed to participate in sporting activities, especially running for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t dare to get undressed in the common areas of the changing rooms, I’d wait for the next free cubicle. And clothes just didn’t fit or if they did it was because I had stretched out the material to maximum capacity. The buttons on my school dresses would constantly break free.

In my teens I became acutely aware of how I would be perceived if I wore certain clothes. Things I wore always tended to look suggestive or provocative without even trying. Even if I wanted to wear such clothes my parents wouldn’t allow it. So, the only other option was to wear clothes that made me look and feel – and I mean no offence – like a nun. My sisters have always been petite and they could wear anything – singlets, backless tops, crop tops, but for some reason they didn’t look suggestive, so it was okay for them to wear whatever they wanted.

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Picture: Paige ‘Rampaige’ Halsey Warren

I remember how I would CRY. I would throw the worst tantrums because I was frustrated. It felt so unfair that I couldn’t wear nice clothes because I was going to be perceived as attention-seeking, slutty and promiscuous, yet my sisters could wear whatever they wanted.

As I entered my late teens, like any other girl my age, I wanted to look and feel sexy. I felt so constricted and repressed that I couldn’t wear the clothes I wanted, so I started to rebel. My parents (who are the greatest and who I love very much) were not happy. ‘Have some self-respect’, don’t look like ‘trash’, ‘cover yourself’ they would say, as if there was something inherently shameful about my body. And for a moment in time I internalised that shame, that false correlation between what one wears and their self-respect, and the view that our bodies are somehow tied to our worth.

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Me SLAYING – Present Day

However, it wasn’t long before I became ‘woke’ (a slang word for socially aware). I learnt about women’s sexual liberation. A movement that challenges traditional social expectations about how women should look, dress, talk and act, in relation to sexuality. And IT IS LIBERATING. IT IS EMPOWERING. TO OWN AND EMBRACE YOUR SEXUALITY. TO EXERCISE CHOICE. To rid yourself of the shame and outdated expectations that have been imposed upon women for so long.

Unfortunately, not everyone is woke. People still judge, criticise and condemn women for embracing their sexuality. What makes me so sad and quite frankly fucking angry – is that there is ALREADY so much self-hatred in this world, so many people suffer from body-image issues, low self-esteem and depression. Why are we trying to bring people down and shame women for embracing themselves, or for showing an ounce of confidence? (live and let live, love and let love). It’s freaking hard enough to love yourself in a society that constantly tells you that you’re not good enough.

However, I do believe that one should dress for the setting they are in, like in a professional setting, funeral or gym. There are appropriate clothing conventions we abide by for various reasons. But even if a woman respects dress codes where ‘appropriate’, the moment she’s caught violating ‘traditional social expectations’ which dictate how a woman should dress – some people will question her worth, credibility, value, assume things, judge and criticise her.

Source: Screenshot from news.com.au

Don’t believe the Western world is as dire as I’m making it out?

Well, Emma Watson’s recent photoshoot illustrates the situation. Watson, a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador and highly successful, talented actress was criticised for a ‘topless’ photo taken as part of the shoot. She was shamed, even by other women on social media. Watson, known for championing feminism, was called a hypocrite for showing her boobs. A writer for the Huffington Post described the situation PERFECTLY:

“In one simple photo, Watson has inadvertently bared a troubling truth that our society still, in 2017, cannot fathom the possibility that women can both express themselves sexually AND express a desire for equality, simultaneously” – Hannah Cranston.

A few years ago, a similar image went viral:

As perfectly evidenced by this picture (below-right) – the price of a woman owning her sexuality means that people will try to diminish and discredit the reputation, accomplishments and character of even the most highly influential women in the world – just from her choice of attire.

Rape Culture/Victim Blaming/Slut Shaming/Image-Based Sexual Assault:

Source: Facebook

The price of a woman owning her sexuality can and does become very dangerous. Women are often victim blamed and slut shamed in cases of rape, people say ‘she shouldn’t have worn that, she was asking for it’. Women are often victim blamed and slut shamed in cases of ‘image based sexual assault’ such as revenge porn, for sending intimate images in the first place. It really seems like women are being punished for just being women.

For too long, women have been told to hide themselves, that they should feel ashamed of their sexuality. Women SHOULD NOT have to pay a price for embracing their sexuality. Let’s celebrate women reclaiming their bodies and dressing however the fuck they want, in whatever the fuck they want.