Tag: culture

I Wear My War Paint For Me

Posted on by jmsheridan

Words: Jessica Sheridan

I’m going to discuss something very important to me: make-up.

I can already hear you sighing. I can see you rolling your eyes or cocking a (perfectly sculpted) eyebrow because make-up isn’t that important. And you’re right; I guess it’s not that important. But make-up culture helps demonstrate something more important than simply reviewing the latest Urban Decay Naked palette (which is also very important).

I went to a house party a few years back for a birthday. I was wearing make-up, and my friends who were attending knew I probably would be. Anyone who has known me for more than ten seconds will know that I love putting on make-up. I never really wore it much during high school, and now that I had discovered the wonders of make-up I wore it every chance I got. I found my friends and as normal my bestie was full of eyeliner compliments. Perfect way to start the evening.

I overheard some people talking about a book series I liked, so I tuned in and tried to get involved. But to my puzzlement one of the more charismatic guys in the group brushed off a lot of my attempts at joining in on the conversation. He exclaimed in surprise shortly afterwards when my friends properly introduced me and he found out I was a law student. Why the surprise you ask? He replied that he didn’t think a girl who wore so much make-up could be smart enough to be a law student.

Why are people so quick to judge people wearing make-up? When did wearing mascara become synonymous with stupidity, or at least antonymous with intelligence?

Cosmetics are a multi-billion dollar industry, reaping in the rewards as we pay $50 plus a pound of flesh for a bottle of the latest matte 27-hour long-lasting blemish-covering magic-fan-dango liquid foundation. And perhaps half of it is FOMO, and perhaps half of it is brand loyalty, but whatever the reason, we spend hundreds of dollars a year maintaining our make-up bags.

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My make-up haul from Sephora

It’s not a decision we make lightly. Despite the increasing cost of living, setting aside money for make-up is still a priority for many of us. And as make-up prices go up, we continue to buy up. Or, if you’re like me, you wait for Boxing Day sales and stock up on your favourite concealer and lip colours like it’s the apocalypse.

Despite the financial investment we make into cosmetic culture, there are still people – particularly men – who try to police what we do. Why spend all that money when we look just as pretty without it? Why do we conceal our self-esteem and highlight our insecurities? Why do we mask our faces and lie about how we really look?

The short answer? We don’t care what you think.

This might come as a shock to you, but we aren’t cashing our paychecks at Sephora for your approval. We aren’t dressing ourselves up for your attention or comment, and we certainly don’t care if you think we look prettier with or without make-up. Our make-up is not for you. Though I’m amazed at how self-important someone must be to believe that another person – a total stranger – would spend so long applying product to their face every morning just for their approval.

When I get up in the morning and sit down gleefully in front of my mirror, I’m not smiling for anyone but myself. And when I apply my make-up I’m not thinking about covering my skin to hide it from my boyfriend or my family – I’m applying it because I want to. I sincerely enjoy wearing make-up; there’s a certain art to it, and when I wear it I feel wonderful. It’s just like wearing your favourite pair of shoes or your best dress.

It makes me feel good, and that is the only reason I wear make-up.

I am sure that some people wear make-up for different reasons: some people wear make-up because it’s part of their corporate dress code; some people wear make-up because it’s an important day and they want to cover dark circles or blemishes for photos; some wear make-up because they might want to impress certain people. But I can almost guarantee you that most of these are blue moon occasions.

People aren’t spending their hard-earned money to try and look pretty for you. They aren’t trying to lie to you with fake eyelashes (because honestly only an idiot would believe my natural lashes touch my brow bone). We aren’t spending hours watching and making YouTube tutorials just so we can teach each other how to be more attractive for you. And we certainly aren’t wearing make-up for you.

It’s all about us, and does not mean we aren’t also happy, creative, smart and warm people. My worth should not be determined by the length of my eyeliner wing.

Make-up can bring confidence. It can bring happiness. It can bring entire communities of beauty enthusiasts together. So the next time you want to tell someone they are wearing too much make-up, don’t.

 

 

 

 

 

Eastern Women in the West: Culture or Sexual Liberation?

Posted on by smeethajay

For most of my life I thought the talk about ‘the birds and the bees’ was just a thing of movies, where the parents would sit down their children to talk about sex. The year I started university was when I finally got ‘the talk’. Well, sort of, because what I heard sounded very different to the movies. Mine sounded something like this:

Sex happens between a husband and a wife for the purpose of making babies. It should only happen once you are married and never before. You should never let a guy touch you before you are married to him. Even if you truly believe he will marry you in the future there’s a possibility he won’t, and then nobody else will marry you. I know lots of guys pretend like they are liberal minded and willing to marry a girl who has had sex before, but they aren’t. They just say that so they can get a chance to have sex and then leave you. When a man is looking for a wife they only want a virgin girl, regardless of how liberal they might have pretended to be before that. Even if you have never had sex before but spend lots of time dating boys out in public – especially at night time – then society will still think you have had sex and are no longer pure enough to be someone’s wife. Then nobody will want to marry you and you will grow old alone.

What’s more is that these words came from a place of pure intentions and complete love. They told me this because they truly believed that what they were saying was fact. They were raised by a culture that taught them the values of ‘sexual purity’, and they were terrified that if I unknowingly breached those values I might not find a life partner and I would end up lonely. They just wanted me to be happy in life.

When I heard this I thought I knew better than to let their archaic cultural values influence me, to let them define me by my sexuality. I was wrong.

I found myself wasting lots of time wondering if my entire worth as a person was solely connected to my vagina. And if so, why was I bothering to prove myself to be an intelligent and ambitious university student, or a socially just humanitarian? Four years later and I am still trying to decide what percentage of my value is derived from the condition of my hymen.

It can be very confusing for an Eastern girl growing up in the West.

It can often take a significant toll on your daily life. You start getting socially anxious in ordinary situations. You’re regularly questioning how you should or shouldn’t act in order to fit into society. You feel torn between what is right and wrong based on the vastly different social perceptions from two unique cultures. It’s already hard enough finding your identity in this world, but trying to reconcile Eastern perceptions of women with Western perceptions proves emotionally taxing and can lead to depression.

Some of you might be thinking that surely nobody believes things like that these days, because for the most part the West has long since moved away from traditional expectations of female sexuality. However, the East has not.  These archaic views of sexuality are very common amongst culturally Eastern communities, regardless of their geographic location. In Eastern cultures it is not possible for women to be faithful to their cultural origins whilst also being sexually liberal.

But the same isn’t true for men.  A man’s value and worth are based on their accomplishments. Yet for Eastern women our accomplishments are overlooked if we are no longer ‘virgins’, and our worth is completely diminished. Why must I make a choice that my male counterpart is not required to make? How is it fair that Eastern women are judged by our sexuality when Eastern men are judged by their accomplishments?

Growing up in the West we are taught at school that men and women are equal. Growing up as an Eastern woman in the West I was taught the same, but with a caveat: that our worth as women is solely linked to our sexual purity, or lack thereof.

For Eastern cultures, the extent of gender equality should not stop at sexuality. So why are their words branded in my mind, still so hard to shake off?

How do Eastern women in the West reconcile our cultural roots and our sexuality? How do we change these social views? Or are we required to choose between the two?

Featured Image: Zac Quitzau Facebook: Zac’s Doodles